I can't believe ...

1) That magic is still a thing. It's like...we all KNOW your secrets!! Yet Vegas drunx still spend billions of dollars on this industry every year. I can't believe it.

2) That people still use the "Awkward!" joke. Not that it was ever really a joke. It was funny that one time when Family Guy first used it. But that was like 6 years ago dawgs. You're still putting it in your commercials? This is supposed to be funny enough to make me wanna buy your shit??? HIRE ME!!!! I am a pretty good writer.

3) That people still do that eye-to-eye pointing thing from "Meet the Parents" that indicates "I'm watching you" or whatever. It is like a non verbal version of the "Awkward!" joke. Which SUCKS.



I don't mean to sound crabby, it's just that, well, I know funny, and this shit is not funny.
Nope.
Not funny at all.

Two Things I Know.

1.) MF will always stand for MOTHER FUCKER.

2.) It will always be funny to refer to that guy as M. Night Shamalamadingdong.



These are two things I know.

Massachusetts

I have been in Massachusetts for the past 2 weeks. 1 more to go!
It wasn't easy at first. I still was really really sick and couldn't sleep at all.
I think I took too many sleeping pills when I had pneumonia and then got used to them
and then could not sleep at all with or without em.

It was very upsetting.
But I have weed now, so it's allllllll good.
(Like, really really good.)
Been sleeping like a baby ever since.

I was really anxious about being at home I think.
I haven't been home for Christmas in 2 years.
I always get stressed out when I know I will have to interact with my dad.
I think I have bottled up animosity towards him for being mean to my mom.
On Christmas Eve Eve he screamed FUCK YOU at me and told me to "talk to the hand".
Who still says that??
What's worse is that I accidentally said it back to him in retaliation.
I don't think I ever used that phrase even in its hey day.
I said more than that.


Anyway.
That's a long and stupid story.
I just can never really get happy when I'm at home.
I need to be with my friends.
Smoking weed preferably.
They just understand me, that's all.
And I can be myself, which is nice.


Speaking of friends.
It's always so AWESOME to come back to Massachusetts and get to hang with my homies.
They are all really nice to me.

I went to Jeanette's in Lowell and watched The Hot Chick with her and Enrique after taking many bong rips.

I went to Nelly's in Lowell and did some recording for my new EP. I slept over.

I went to see Doomstar! and The Fedavees at Gay Gardens which is a house in Allston.
It was super awesome.
I was really really stoned all night.
Brian Clark and Kat met me there. Then we went to O'Brien's because we heard that Josh Egan was there.
He was!
It was great to see him. He has been in Afghanistan for a long time. But he is done now, and that makes me very happy.
We convinced him to come back to Gay Gardens with us, and he did because he KNOWS we are the funnest.(B Clark and Kat had to leave early though.)
The show was so good. Even Nate showed up late night!
Me him and Josh sat on a couch and smoked tons of weed out of the potato pipe I had brought.
I wanted to flirt with every boy at this show.
(Fun CG fact #439: I am terrible at flirting.)

I said I would give Josh a ride back to Watertown, so we set off. Not before getting some Dunkaccinos though. FUCK it is cold out here!!!

He and Christina let me sleep on their couch. It was a sectional which is my favorite kind of couch.

The next day, I wanted to get breakfast, but it didn't seem like anyone was really around. So I got really stoned and drove around Boston by myself for like 2 hours. (I love doing that btw.) I eventually went to Kupel's and got a bagel and coffee, and the dude working was SUPER intense and rude. And said things like "more fresher" right after totally clowning on his younger female co-worker for being a fuck up or something.
What a prick.

I don't know what I did on Wednesday. Probably hung out with Nelly and Jenna or something.

Then on Thursday I hung out with Ben Frassa for the first time. We smoked mad weed, crafted new smoking devices, ate pizza, and played Pac Man. Then Jenna came over and we went to Matt Flynn's where we played cards with his sisters and their boyfriends.

Then Friday was Christmas Eve. My family spent the evening next door at my aunt and uncle's house eating hors d'oeuvres, getting wasted (dads only) and playing Taboo.
It was pretty fun. Then after, I went to Matt Flynn's house where he and Jenna were hanging out. We smoked Christmas bowls and watched Christmas themed films.

Then Saturday was Christmas as you may know.
I got a pillow pet. It's a bumble bee.
We all went to my grandmother's farm in Dunstable and congregated with my mom's side.
It was pretty okay.
Lots of little kids.
But not as many people as usual, which was good.
After the family party me and a few of my cousins got together at my cousin Chris's house in Dunstable. I smoked a huge blunt with my youngest cousin Kevin and we all ate ham.

On Sunday there was a fucking HUGE BLIZZARD!!!!
It snowed a lot and shit.
I wanted to hang out, but Ma found out that my driver's license expired in October and stopped letting me drive her car.
So instead, she drove me to Ben Frassa's house in-da-snow.
What a gal.
I think it was fun for her though.
Me and Ben and his roommates had a totally fun BLIZZARD PARTY which is when you get snowed the fuck in and just hafta smoke tons of weed, eat snacks, watch movies, and draw all night with your homies.
It was totally successful!
Then the next morning, Ben's roomie Lindsay made quiche, ham, and homefries and let us all eat some. It was SOOOO DELICIOUS! Especially that ham...

Then I walked to my friend Jeanette's house. It wasn't too long of a walk, but it was pretty crazy cuz of all the fucking snow everywhere. Also, it was extremely cold and windy.
But I made it!
Joey from the Big Big Bucks was there as he is Jeanette's boyfriend! So that was fun. Dan, who lives there, was also there. We smoked weed and played Big Buck Hunter.
Then Jenna came to get me and we went for a brief visit to Nelly's.
Kait and Risa were there and Nelly made me a mimosa with Sprite in it (even though I don't drink) and also gave me some other kind of soda.
Then me and Jenna headed to Cambridge to see Bugs and Rats!!!!!!
They were supposed to play at Charlie's Kitchen, and I was really really fucking excited because

a) They NEVER play
b) I live in California so even if they did play I would not get to see them.

This would be a great time to upload their latest album "ADIDAS", but I'm way too lazy. Mayyyyyyybe later.

HOWEVER, due to the 2 other bands being total snow pussies, the show got cancelled.
The waitress told us.
We sat in a booth and sulked and Jenna drank a beer.

But, the night wasn't totally ruined cuz I saw my friend Jeff!
Jeff is an old friend of mine from Manchester NH. He is really funny and cool.
I never see him.
He bought my black Epiphone semi hollow body when I moved to CA.

So anyway, we just went home.
Wait, no!
We forced Matt Flynn to hang out with us cuz we didn't feel like calling it a night juuust yet.
He and his roommate were both in their PJs and we played cards.
And smoked weed.
I am not a cat person by any means but MF has the cutest most precious little kitty in the whole entire world, and its name is Roxanne.

Then LAST NIGHT, I went to Nelly's to do some more recording.
When Nelly came home from the movies, we went to the Worthen.
Kayla, Jenna, Kait and RayRay were there! And Ben F. came too.
And Packy was there too!
It was quite fun and obviously sooooo good to see my homie Kayla.
We smoked a bowl with Ben Frassa, RayRay kept falling asleep with her head on the table, and then we all went to Club Diner.
It was so good!
I missed you CD!

Which brings us to today! Holy shit, I can't believe I remembered all that crap.
I recorded a bunch today while no one was home at Nelly's and my new EP is ALMOST DONE!!!

I can't wait for it to be totally done :)

Hell yeah.

Wish this wasn't two months away.
But that's ok! Beggars can seldom be choosers.

I remember one time, I was at the Stork Club in Oakland, and I was wearing my red and white striped hat, and I heard a group of girls being like "WHERE'S WALDO?!" when I walked by, and it made me sad so I took it off even though I LOVE that hat!

Fuckers.

Boo Hoo.

I am crying because I am not healthy and I am sad and lonely.
I'm too young.
I know I don't have it nearly as bad as some, but I am jealous of everyone else my age who still gets to be normal.
I don't know what to do.
I am pathetic.
I went to a show a couple of nights ago because I knew a boy that I like was going to be there.
He was there.
I did not say hello to him. And then I left.
I have been completely hung up all year long on two boys, neither one of which reciprocates my feelings at this point. But I still think about them both all the time. I know how dumb it is, but I have nothing else to do.
I'm also not used to not getting what I want.
If I wasn't so firmly implanted in this routine of mine I might meet someone, but I am also afraid to meet new people because I worry that I am boring and gross.

I have also been worrying for a long time that I am vapid.
Fake.
a Poseur.
a Wannabe.
I definitely feel like I'm different.
But am I better than most people, or am I way shittier?
Example:
(How can I be perfect for someone when we don't have anything in common?)
Most people have interests.
I am not really interested in anything.
I mean, I am interested in music and making it, but I don't scour youtube for obscure performances, I don't spend hours in record stores, I just don't care.
I like to paint and draw stuff for myself and my friends, but art doesn't come out of me and I don't know stuff about artists or anything like that.

I make comics but I don't read comics.
I make Ramones style music but I don't listen to the Ramones.

Etc.

Fuck it.
I don't understand life or being a human AT ALL.
It'd probably kill me if I did though.
I just want someone to cuddle and make out with.

A Few Things to Say.

I have a few things to say.


- You assholes are getting curious about Jeff! I have been noticing that more and more people have been asking me about the multicolored letters painted on my guitar. "Who's Jeff?" they ask. "Where's Jeff?" they ask. "Is Jeff a real person?" they ask.

OF COURSE Jeff is a real person, and fuck you if you can't understand that!!!!

I saw Jeff on Halloween actually. Did I mention that? He went as a creepy coach, and so did Nate, and that is why they are perfect for each other.

I went as "I had a baby but I don't know where it went". Pretty much I just wore a hospital gown and no pants and I cut the gown really short and my entire ass was exposed. I was worried about it at first but then I decided that it totally added to the costume, so I left it be. And then I put a bunch of fake blood all over my legs and the bottom of the gown. No one really asked about it at all except one guy who said, "Let me guess, that's not a costume?" and I said "Nope, this ACTUALLY happened!"

But the only candy they had at the party I went to was Smarties. Not that I don't like Smarties, or anything like that, but I mean camaaaaaan. Also Kayla's bag and all of her things got stolen at this party. I keep wanting to txt her, but I can not. How sad.



- The other day after leaving Max's house in Oakland I accidentally stepped into the wrong car. Victoria and Kayla were waiting for me in a similar looking car parked right in front of this one. I stepped into it, realized there was no one and nothing in the car, realized my horrible mistake, and stepped back out. Apparently the car belonged to an old crackhead couple and they were EXTREMELY UPSET. They were like "HEY! WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOIN, GETTIN' IN OUR CAR????" (etc) And I was like "I...uhhhh....this....not right car." (Then I ran away.)



- I played Heavy Hawaii's record release show in San Diego. It was fun. I was in San Diego for less than 12 hours. I brought 1 joint and Mario gave me 1 joint which meant that I had 1 joint in each of my 2 pockets. Yes! I love Math!!!

I lost my sunglasses though, and had to play without them. It was very sad. Then after the show, JoJo from HH found them on the stage like, right next to the amp I was using or something.

I'm just glad they're safe and sound.



- I played at Nate's warehouse in Oakland. It was SUPER FUN. All the bands were really good. I smoked a lot of weed and was high all night long.

I am high now, by the way. It's because I smoked weed a few minutes ago.

- I played at Bottom of the Hill in San Francisco. It was pretty cool. I had never been there before and I really liked it! I almost fell asleep sitting in a chair behind the merch table though at one point.



- Kayla and Victoria decided to hang out in L.A. for the weekend and give me a ride back down. It was very nice of them. It was really fun and nice to have some company.

We smoked SO MUCH WEED.
It was awesome.

We got here really late on Friday night, smoked a ton of weed, watched Half Baked, fell asleep in my bed.

Then on Saturday night I played a show at a new warehouse in North Hollywood called The Hustle House. It was AWESOME!! Everyone there was a huge stoner and kept asking us if we wanted to get high. Which we did, of course. And we did!!!

In honor of that, I am going to smoke more weed right now.

Annnnnyway.

On Sunday night we decided to go to a restaurant called Swinger's in Santa Monica. It was pretty good. I got challah french toast. But I don't actually think they used challah bread. I dunno. It looked iffy to me. Kayla got vegan sloppy joes (nice) and Victoria got a classic breakfast. She let me eat some of her bacon. I really like bacon.

Then Anie and Crystal came to meet us! They were in L.A. for the weekend too because Anie got a new puppy. It is a black chihuahua. It is an apple-head which means that due to the shape of its skull it's not as fucked up looking as some other chihuahuas, which are known as deer-heads.

Anyway, then Anie wanted to go hang out with some dude that she wants to bang, so we all went to his recording studio place in Santa Monica. It was pretty nice. We sat on a big nice soft couch and watched "OH MY GOD SHOES" because Anie didn't know what that was. At one point I spilled coffee all over the couch and didn't tell anyone. Luckily the couch was brown.

Then Anie went back to Anaheim and the rest of us went back to my house where we snacked, smoked weed and watched TV.

I love having people to hang out in my bed with. My bed is the best.

THEN on Monday, which was just yesterday, we went to Venice Beach to meet up with my friend Yannick who is from Montreal but is here on tour with his new band No Joy. (We played together at the warehouse on Saturday.) It was really windy out. We went to Siam Chan and ate delicious food. Then it was time for Victoria and Kayla to go home.

I miss them so much already!!!



Aww. Okay. If I think of more I will write about it. For now though that is about it.