Green One

I made a new song yesterday. It's called "Green One". It's about me, as is it all.

download this poppy shit

listen to it a million times in a row

Pee on Face

When I was in Oakland I told my friends that I wanted to try washing my face with my own pee, and they all FREAKED OUT! Well, Dan seemed to be okay with it after a bit. Psssh, he would.

Christmas Come and Go, Renee.

Hello!
I hope everyone in my life had a nice day yesterday. And is having a nice day today as well. Because I don't just wish you guys well wishes on certain days. I wish you well wishes every day.

So, let's see. What have I been up to in the past few days. I realized this blog is boring as shit because I don't do anything. But whatever. I don't care.

On Christmas Eve me and Ryan walked to Stoner Park and chatted in the Japanese Garden while I smoked and got high. At night we went to the house of Ryan's friend Jeff and his wife Amanda. Amanda used to work for Pierce Brosnan and had a few paintings he had done. I wish I had taken pictures of them. They were cool. I am officially a fan of Pierce Brosnan's art. Who woulda thought?

(EDIT: here are the ones she had. This shit is expensive, but I think she got them for free.





He gives the money to charity OKAY??? And at least they're colorful.)




We ate chili and Christmas treats and drank fancy hot chocolate with mini marshmallows and played Apples to Apples and played Cranium and played Wii Air Hockey and played Guitar Hero. I played "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath. It was fun. I met a new doggy named Penny, she was so cute. Except I said she looked like a rat and Jeff was offended. A cute one though!

(I MISS LILLY.)




Then it was Christmas. Me and Ryan tried to go to Manoly's but they were closed. So then we made waffles! Just like the boy. They were pretty good. Then we opened presents and stuff that our parents sent us. I got a puppy calendar, vitamins, pajama pants, extremely plush socks, money, and a candle.

THEN I made an Oreo Cheesecake. The recipe called for regular Oreos, but I opted for Double Stufs. Please.

THEN I went to see Sherlock Holmes with my brother Ryan and my brother's friend whose name is also Ryan. I thought it was pretty good even though I smoked a joint on the way to the theatre and couldn't really understand much of anything. The one thing I can tell you is that Sherlock Holmes is a man who possesses deduction skills! A bonus thing I can tell you is that Robert Downey Jr. be looking flyyyy. Aging well.

THEN after the movie it was Chinese Man Bring Me Chinese Food Now Please Time and then Cheesy Cheesecake time. That was pretty awesome. My cheesecake rules. Here, I will show you a picture of it.



Welp, that's pretty much it. Bye!

Blarry

I have a friend named Blarry.
She is the best, cutest, coolest, most prettiest girl in the world!
I used to try and think of ways I could be more like her.
Until I realized that I can not be like her,
and that's okay!

She was supposed to send me just this skirt in the mail:



She also sent me this skirt:



This skirt:



This dress:



This t-shirt:



And all these little trinkets!!!!!




I couldn't believe it! Made my fucking day. Blarry, you rule.

I made a gigantic fruit salad for a potluck on Saturday and ended up not being able to go. There was also supposed to be a crappy $5 or less gift exchange....so now I just own the movie "Air Bud". I might watch it tonight. The fruit salad was way delicious though.

I discovered a gentlemen's club a couple blocks from my house. It is called "Silver Reign". It is directly across from a Staples. That's how I found out about it, cuz I walked to Staples and there it was. Weird huh? Never lived so close to a strip club in my life.

So I took a trip this weekend. It was a VERY fun trip.
The Tanks were playing a bunch of shows with Against Me! including one in San Jose and one in Stockton.
Those two cities both happen to be very close to.....
OAKLAND!!!
So I hitched a ride up with them. We got to San Jose on Sunday. The show was in an art gallery. I was put to work answering the phone before the show started. I took some calls from the public and gave them the 411. I was very polite.

Then Erica came to pick me up. She brought Kayla and Nate too!!!

We got super stoned, burned turned, walked around, and went to a Chinese food restaurant down the street. It was good. And hilarious.

We definitely stumbled into the gay section of San Jose somehow. That's a window behind Nate, not a mirror. There were two dudes at the table on the other side. They were totally on a date. And could without a doubt hear everything we said including our extensive conversation about DICKS/beef flutes. Some real strangers started to populate the bar towards the end of our meal, man. Check the issue of REAL SHIT DAILY in Nate's pocket!



Some theatre or something.


Kayla liked this, so I took a picture of it.


Then we drove to Oakland! YAYYYYYY!!!
We went to Dan and Erica's house. This was my bedroom for the next two days:


Yep, I slept inside this Christmas tree.

Dan was home and since he's a candy jerk now, there was TONS of candy there which I proceeded to eat. Chocolate covered gummy bears. Yum.
Basically this night consisted of the 5 of us smoking weed, eating snacks, and laughing a bunch. It was amazing.


That bag of Smartfood was gone like 5 minutes after this photo was taken.

The next morning, us 5 minus Nate went out for breakfast at Rudy's Can't Fail Cafe, which is a diner in Oakland owned by Green Day's Mike Dirnt. It was pretty delicious, and of course the waiter was a big dude with a black t shirt, plenty of tattoos, and a no-B.S. attitude. I got coffee, scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and hash browns, which is what I always get. Mike Dirnt was NOT there.

Then we drove Dan to work and me and Kayla accompanied Erica to the DMV. It was dumb. There was a really long line and a silly woman started talking to us because she noticed us chatting and having fun. She couldn't believe she had to get her license renewed! I mean, does anyone TELL YOU it expires? No way, because of all the cutbacks.

.....It's not like it says it right on your goddamn license ya dumb bitch!!!

Then we went to Walgreens. Then we dropped Kayla off at work. Then we went back to Erica's and Erica went to sleep because she is a night nurse and she had to go to work that night. I said, "NOW IT'S MAH HOUSE!!!"
I took a shower and hung around and waited until 8 o clock when Erica said she would wake up and make me dinner. Dan came home, Nate came over, LILLY came over, fucking cutie, Jose came over, and then Erica woke up and we ate tacos.
Then me and Jose bought a whole grip o' weed at a reasonable rate and we all went on a donut adventure. I got a chocolate frosted donut and a crumb donut which is a donut covered in the crumbs of other donuts with sugar all over it.



At some point we picked Kayla up at work and took a burn turn while listening to Milo Goes to Compton. Then we went back to Dan and Erica's, smoked mad weed, ate donuts, drank hot cocoa, and watched Grindhouse.

It was all just so wholesome and sweet.

The next morning, me, Dan and Erica ate croissant breakfast sandwiches together. Erica drove me to Lake Merritt and I took the BART to Dublin, where the Tanks picked me up, and about 6 hours later I was at my motherfuckin' doorstep y'all.


The End.

You KNOW....

It's hard being a cute girl. Every dude I meet just wants to bang me. I'm just a goofy motherfucker trying to make new friends, but if I say I just wanna be friends, then I'm a bitch. It's a very, very, very, very hard life I lead.


Anyway, I got a book yesterday at a book store near my house called Alias Books. It was a long walk, but nice. They are filming a movie or something in a parking lot which may as well be my damn front yard. Unrelated, as I was walking down the street some dudes in a van yelled, "Hey cutie! Owwwwww!" I smiled! I couldn't help it! Anyway, I set off to find a book in French, and I succeeded! I got "Les Justes" by Albert Camus. It is a play in five acts. I have no idea what it's about. I would like to be able to understand French better though because I think French is cool. (You men don't care about stuff like that though, do you. You just want to see my butt.)

I've been grinding my teeth so fucking hard lately. I couldn't sleep last night and I think part of it was due to the fact that I could not stop grinding my teeth wicked fucking hard. (also I was thinking about boys.) I've always done it but it's gotten way worse in recent years, and it is terrible. I don't remember who it was but someone told me recently that some old bitch they knew claimed that teeth cause tons of fucked up shit to happen in your body, so she had all of hers removed, got dentures or whatever, and at present is as healthy and active as a 90 year old horse.

It sounds weird but I kind of always thought my teeth might be responsible for giving me MG.

Yesterday

Was a cool day.

I woke up fairly early, as is my way, took a shower, ate breakfast etc.
Then I blogged as you may have noticed.
Then I decided to go to the beach because it was a pretty nice day out, and I live really close to the beach.
So I drove to Santa Monica near the pier and parked in a parking lot.
My only plan was to walk all the way down the Venice strip and then back. And MAYBE get some coffee or some rolling tobacco and sit on the beach and just stare at the ocean for a bit.

As soon as I stepped my little foot on to the beach, a smiling jogging woman jogged up to me, handed me a beautiful flower, said "Here! Enjoy!" and jogged away. I said, "thank you very much!" It was a big white tropical flower of some sort and it smelled amazing. So I walked and held my flower and felt good.

When I got to Venice, a boy with a large afro walking past me said, "hey, can I walk with you?" and I said, "sure, whatever, I don't give a fuck" because I am nice. So we walked and talked and became friends. At one point we walked past a woman and Jonah said to her, "Hey, how's it going?" and she said, "I'm about to go on a date with my soulmate!" And we were both like, WHOA THAT'S AWESOME! I looked back at her, smiling, and she was looking back at us and smiling. It was pretty great.

Anyway, Jonah's story was a bit strange to me but he seemed really nice. I think he is homeless but I can't tell for sure. Then we met up with his friend, and his friend's baby, who was extremely adorable. I gave her my flower. She really liked it. But in retrospect I probably should have just kept it because I'm pretty sure she just threw it on the ground after like ten minutes. GOD babies are fucked up.

After the beach I went home and gave my new buddy James a call. James is a friend of Jose's who I met a few weeks ago when Jose came to visit, and he went to see Dick Dale too. So I met up with him in North Hollywood, and we went to Van Nuys to visit another boy who took us to the weed store. This weed store was in a really non descript alley way and was just a blank door with a piece of paper taped to it, I don't know what the paper said though. Nothing about weed, that's for sure. Then we went back to James's apartment, took bong rips, and smoked a spliff with his roommate. Then we went to Blockbuster, talked about a bunch of movies, most of which I had never seen, and then I went home.

Oh, and I went to KFC too. I almost seriously drove away and forgot like 14 dollars worth of change. The girl thought I was a complete retard. And I suppose, in some ways, I am.


THE END.

HELLO BLOGGER!

Uuuhhhhhhhhhh so let me tell you about my weekend.

Friday - Did nothing all day besides read sexy texts and decline having phone sex with the boy I had been sleeping with in Oakland. It was raining, I'm pretty sure. I worked on songs a little. I smoked tons of weed all day and at night I ordered a pineapple pizza from Papa John's. Miraculously, and previously unbeknownst to me, you can do this online, so I didn't even have to speak to anyone, and then like a half hour later a man showed up at my door (like my actual apartment door. I don't know how he got in. Maybe it is like with the Electric People in Oakland, they have a key to every gate including mine so they can just come in whenever they need to. At least this man had pizza.) He also brought me 2 liters of Dr. Pepper. I laughed because it was so great. I watched a movie too but I don't remember what.

Saturday - Danny came over for a spell. We ate pineapple pizza, drank Dr. Pepper, and listened to some records including Squeeze - Argybargy, HR - Singin' in the Heart, Viva Mexico, and The Spitzz. He also traded me a bass for an acoustic guitar. Then he left, and my brother went to some church choir thing. I stayed home alone, drank whiskey, listened to the Ramones and baked chocolate chip cookies.

Sunday - Woke up at about 8 A.M. with what I assume was a terrible, terrible hangover. This was very weird because I did not drink enough whiskey to warrant such a hangover. Really, I didn't. A completely moderate amount in normal times. I tried to eat half a banana and puked it up almost immediately. It tasted like wine sort of which I thought strange. It came out my nose too which I hate. My face looked like it had been injected with donut cream, like what's in a Boston Creme donut, and it was all oozing out. Maybe I can/should not drink at all anymore. That's fine. But anyway, I spent the entire day puking until about 7 or 8 P.M. when I managed to scrape up a bunch of resin and took some pretty deece bong rips. Then I felt almost 100% better, I wished I had real weed though. I made nachos, drank ginger ale, drank tea with honey, drank milk, drank water, and then I finally got to fucking feast on the delicious as fuck CCC's I made the night before. Oh and they were good.



I'm very lonely. I might go to the beach soon.

Dick Dale

Last Saturday was my brother Ryan's 28th birthday. Here is a card he received from his friend, whose name is also Ryan.



We went to Hollywood.





To celebrate, I played tons of skee-ball.



You can see my high score of 27,000. MAN I won some cool shit that night. Luckily I took a picture of it all. Check it:



As you can see I made off with a small sticky brain, a pair of bitchin' sillyglasses, and a Chinese finger trap. Oh, and I also got a parachute man, but I'm pretty sure I gave it to someone. The rainbow hackey sack is NOT MINE.

Then we went to see Dick Dale, (who is a Quincy, MA native!) perform at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club. It was super cool. He is funny. And good at guitar. I talked to him about Wollaston Beach, and he touched my sticky brain and laughed.






Oh, and Jon Lovitz was there too.

Whyyyy is it....

that whenever I make music,
and post it on the internet,
sharing it for all the world to hopefully enjoy,
I get ONE MILLION boys telling me to re-mix it in various ways, or asking me to SEND THEM my song files over the computer so THEY can re-mix it FOR me?

WHAT
THE
FUCK
????

If I was a boy, NO ONE would do this to me. But because I'm a girl, everyone assumes it sounds like shit because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I don't mean to use this blog as a place to complain about bullshit, but this is something that CONSTANTLY happens to me and it's fucking humiliating.


I wrote the fucking song.
I recorded it.
I spent a really long time trying to make sure it sounded okay.
If you don't like the way it sounds then I guess you probably just don't understand me.
And in conclusion...


FUCK YOU.

Back hurts, and am not high, which I think is dumb.