I made a gigantic fruit salad for a potluck on Saturday and ended up not being able to go. There was also supposed to be a crappy $5 or less gift exchange....so now I just own the movie "Air Bud". I might watch it tonight. The fruit salad was way delicious though.

I discovered a gentlemen's club a couple blocks from my house. It is called "Silver Reign". It is directly across from a Staples. That's how I found out about it, cuz I walked to Staples and there it was. Weird huh? Never lived so close to a strip club in my life.

So I took a trip this weekend. It was a VERY fun trip.
The Tanks were playing a bunch of shows with Against Me! including one in San Jose and one in Stockton.
Those two cities both happen to be very close to.....
OAKLAND!!!
So I hitched a ride up with them. We got to San Jose on Sunday. The show was in an art gallery. I was put to work answering the phone before the show started. I took some calls from the public and gave them the 411. I was very polite.

Then Erica came to pick me up. She brought Kayla and Nate too!!!

We got super stoned, burned turned, walked around, and went to a Chinese food restaurant down the street. It was good. And hilarious.

We definitely stumbled into the gay section of San Jose somehow. That's a window behind Nate, not a mirror. There were two dudes at the table on the other side. They were totally on a date. And could without a doubt hear everything we said including our extensive conversation about DICKS/beef flutes. Some real strangers started to populate the bar towards the end of our meal, man. Check the issue of REAL SHIT DAILY in Nate's pocket!



Some theatre or something.


Kayla liked this, so I took a picture of it.


Then we drove to Oakland! YAYYYYYY!!!
We went to Dan and Erica's house. This was my bedroom for the next two days:


Yep, I slept inside this Christmas tree.

Dan was home and since he's a candy jerk now, there was TONS of candy there which I proceeded to eat. Chocolate covered gummy bears. Yum.
Basically this night consisted of the 5 of us smoking weed, eating snacks, and laughing a bunch. It was amazing.


That bag of Smartfood was gone like 5 minutes after this photo was taken.

The next morning, us 5 minus Nate went out for breakfast at Rudy's Can't Fail Cafe, which is a diner in Oakland owned by Green Day's Mike Dirnt. It was pretty delicious, and of course the waiter was a big dude with a black t shirt, plenty of tattoos, and a no-B.S. attitude. I got coffee, scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and hash browns, which is what I always get. Mike Dirnt was NOT there.

Then we drove Dan to work and me and Kayla accompanied Erica to the DMV. It was dumb. There was a really long line and a silly woman started talking to us because she noticed us chatting and having fun. She couldn't believe she had to get her license renewed! I mean, does anyone TELL YOU it expires? No way, because of all the cutbacks.

.....It's not like it says it right on your goddamn license ya dumb bitch!!!

Then we went to Walgreens. Then we dropped Kayla off at work. Then we went back to Erica's and Erica went to sleep because she is a night nurse and she had to go to work that night. I said, "NOW IT'S MAH HOUSE!!!"
I took a shower and hung around and waited until 8 o clock when Erica said she would wake up and make me dinner. Dan came home, Nate came over, LILLY came over, fucking cutie, Jose came over, and then Erica woke up and we ate tacos.
Then me and Jose bought a whole grip o' weed at a reasonable rate and we all went on a donut adventure. I got a chocolate frosted donut and a crumb donut which is a donut covered in the crumbs of other donuts with sugar all over it.



At some point we picked Kayla up at work and took a burn turn while listening to Milo Goes to Compton. Then we went back to Dan and Erica's, smoked mad weed, ate donuts, drank hot cocoa, and watched Grindhouse.

It was all just so wholesome and sweet.

The next morning, me, Dan and Erica ate croissant breakfast sandwiches together. Erica drove me to Lake Merritt and I took the BART to Dublin, where the Tanks picked me up, and about 6 hours later I was at my motherfuckin' doorstep y'all.


The End.