Hi.
I just went for a very long walk.
First of all I walked to the library because I needed to print out my bank statement.
I accidentally cut a bunch of deaf people in line for the computer. Woops!
I got kicked out but managed to print my shit in time cuz it only takes like 2 seconds anyway.

Then I walked to Whole Foods to get lunch.
Then I walked home and ate a delicious salad.

Now I am tired and will rest and blog.


This morning I did yoga while wearing really dumb looking undies and my Knifey Spoony shirt. Lilly was so confused and thought it was play time and kept licking my arms and MESSING WITH MY SUN BREATHS.

It felt good to do yoga though, I haven't done it in quite some time and my back is starting to hurt. Of course, I have also been sleeping on a couch for the past month and walk around all the time in really, really, really shitty shoes. So I'm sure that doesn't help.


ANYWAY.


On Friday I attended the 3rd Annual Uzi Rash art show. It was at Sweet Tooth's house. There were a LOT of friends there, and a lot of hot dogs as well!



It was fun!!!!!!!!!!



This is the only other picture I took. It's of my friend Mike Hunchback. He is wearing my sunglasses in it and singing a song.
Mike lives in Brooklyn and is VERY cool. He has influenced me/my life in many ways and I am pretty grateful to have met him.
As a matter of fact, without him, Colleen Green might never have become a thing! Troof.






(I love him.)






I sold weed at the show and smoked a ton of it with my new friend Rob.
We fishbowled an incredibly small room while the band G. Green played.
They sounded pretty awesome through those tiny walls!
I also smoked weed with Lisa out of a very cute lipstick shaped pipe.


Uzi Rash was amazing! I even twittered about it as it was happening.
They played "Sick Touch" with Mike Hunchback and it was fucking awesome.
All the bands were pretty incredible.
The whole show was so posi and fun and and there were so many people there!
Good job Max!

Dudes from or perhaps WITH the band Bad Sports were being douches though kinda. They kept ripping on everyone and shouting "WHY IS EVERYONE IN OAKLAND SO WEIRD LOOKING??"

UM HELLAOW?

They also kept trying to kick over a speaker with a monitor and a lamp on top of it.
One of them said to me, "I saw you at Whole Foods and then I bought a turkey sandwich."
I said, "Today?" even though I KNEW I wasn't at Whole Foods that day.
Then he said "Nah like 2 weeks ago."

I am so memorable.
Turkey sandwiches are my favorite.


Then the show was over and Mike and I went back to the Lake.
Hung out all day on Saturday. Smoked tons of weed. Ate hot dogs and corn on the cob with Allie. Watched movies.
On Sunday we went to Lynn and Lu's. I ate fruit and toast and coffee. Some bitch was complaining because she said her eggs tasted like they had sugar in them instead of salt. She made her girlfriend complain about it for her while she sat outside cuz she was on crutches or some bullshit. Haha! What a cunt! Her girlfriend was ugly, too.

We also went to Walden Books because Mike LOVES books and bookstores. I spent most of the time sitting outside on the curb looking at a book about Alcatraz, but at one point the owner took the both of us into the super secret RARE BOOK ROOM!!!

I took this picture from the window of it.


As we were walking home we saw a man selling old shitty books by the shores of the Lake, and since Mike loves books, we stopped. Mike was like, "hey, have you ever heard of ______ by ______?" and the guy was like WHERE YOUR MONEY AT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAH.

He was a TOTAL and COMPLETE douche. He was talking with a British accent too but I think it was fake.
Fucking assholes with their fake British accents and their broke ass book collections.

Then we took a nap.

That night Mike went to hang out at Owen's (which happens to be EXTREMELY close to Dan and Erica's!) with Max and co. I stayed home and watched TV and fell asleep around 11.

Then Mike came back and we watched "Bad Biology" and ate ice cream.

Lilly is cuddling with me on the couch right now and she is laying on my right arm and it's making it difficult to type.
I still love her though.
I always say, "Hello pup! Hello little baby!" And then I ask her how she is.
She is so nice and so cute and I want to steal her.
Mike kept hating on her though which I can not vibe with AT ALL.

On Sunday we walked to the Merritt Restaurant for breakfast. It is a lot closer than Lynn and Lu's. There was an old couple sitting across from us and they had to take their breakfasts to go because the old woman's best friend had just died and she was crying.

It was kinda sad.

Then we went to San Francisco! It was fun, but it was also sorta cloudy and cold out all day so that was dumb.
We had a bit of a bus/BART/muni adventure because I am a retard and can't read directions right. So we ended up doing a bit of walking which Mike, obviously, was none too thrilled about.

We went to Rooky Ricardo's on Haight St. I wanted to buy some 45s but have vowed to not spend money on anything other than drugs or food until I go on tour.

So I sat in the corner and read a bunch of stuff about Frankie Avalon and James Brown.


Did you know that Rooky Ricardo's was voted "Best Place to Meet Nice People" by some type of publication?

I think that's nice, if it is true, although when I went there I did not meet ANY people, let alone any nice ones.

Then we went to Comix Experience. I read a bit of "My Brain is Hanging Upside Down" by David Heatley. In it, he and another little boy jerk each other off daily while talking about the girls they have crushes on.
It made me think about the weird fake sexual shit I used to do with a neighbor boy of mine when I was really young.

Kids know what's up. Don't even try to pass on them like they don't.



Then we ate cheeseburgers and french fries and came back to Oakland.
Mike packed up his shit, we went to Max's for about a half hour, and then I drove Mike to the airport.


Now he is gone.


I came home and got really stoned with Allie and James and then I went to bed.
I had to spoon with Lilly.
She doesn't smell that nice. She's just....so goddamn adorable.


Here's a picture of Jose in a Jeep. I took it a lot of days ago.

On this day, we went to Alameda and did a bunch of other stuff. I don't even remember what. It was fun though.



I also took this picture of Jose's room because he just moved into a new room and it is even BETTER than his old one. I love the skylight.



Last night I had the best stoner/kids' meal EVER with Allie and James (hot dogs, chickie nuggies, sweet potato french fries, AND raspberry ice.). Then I made stem tea. I think it worked, and it tasted really weedy, but I'm not sure because I was already very very stoned when I drank it, and then I smoked a bunch more weed when Jose came over. He told me a lot of stuff about nutrition and how to take more healthy shits. He claims to have bangin' shit. I trust him, I do.

We made EPIC toast and watched "Broken Flowers" cuz I've never seen it before. I fell asleep halfway through and woke up to the movie over and Jose leaving.

I fell asleep! Sowwy Jose! Goodnight!


Guys, I typed this entire entry out and it was SO GOOD AND SO FUCKING LONG AND THEN IT GOT DELETED. So I had to type it all over again. It's a good thing I have a sort of okay memory. I'm worried that this one isn't as good. Ugh. Whatever. Now I am going to go smoke weed with Allie and eat steak.

The End.